[addrman] Make addrman consistency checks a runtime option

Currently addrman consistency checks are a compile time option, and are not
enabled in our CI. It's unlikely anyone is running these consistency checks.

Make them a runtime option instead, where users can enable addrman
consistency checks every n operations (similar to mempool tests). Update
the addrman unit tests to do internal consistency checks every 100
operations (checking on every operations causes the test runtime to
increase by several seconds).

Also assert on a failed addrman consistency check to terminate program
execution.

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