build: disable boost multi index safe mode

Disable boost multi index safe mode by default when configuring with
--enable-debug.

This option can cause transactions to take a long time to be accepted
into the mempool under certain conditions; iterator destruction takes
O(n) time vs O(1) as they are stored in a singly linked list. See
27586 for more information.

Re-enable it on the CI builds which previously had it enabled.

Re-enable it on the msan fuzz target so that we have fuzz tasks testing
with it enabeld and disabled in this repo.

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