From 513357ee4740e14ad93f8c1153594291bc4af691 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Jeff Burdges <burdges@gnunet.org>
Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2016 02:41:09 +0200
Subject: middle paragraph in conclusion did not flow,

It read like two unconnected sentences.
---
 articles/ui/ui.tex | 23 +++++++++++------------
 1 file changed, 11 insertions(+), 12 deletions(-)

(limited to 'articles/ui/ui.tex')

diff --git a/articles/ui/ui.tex b/articles/ui/ui.tex
index 5e4cf2099..4d27ff39d 100644
--- a/articles/ui/ui.tex
+++ b/articles/ui/ui.tex
@@ -1290,16 +1290,16 @@ counterfeit money.
 % CG: No, it's not optional, ``should'' doesn't come into the equation
 % here. It's a mandatory business expense.
 Furthermore, merchants have the cost of maintaining change and depositing
-the money earned.  With Bitcoin, there is no definitive time until a
-payment can be said to be confirmed (step 19, Figure~\ref{fig:bitcoin}),
+the money earned.  At the extreme, there is no definitive time until a
+Bitcoin payment can be said to be confirmed (step 19, Figure~\ref{fig:bitcoin}),
 leaving merchants in a bit of a tricky situation.
 
-Addressing the scalability problems of Bitcoin in the style of BOLT
-introduces semi-centralized intermediaries, similar to Taler's use of
-exchanges.  We expect a Taler exchange operating in BTC to offer
-stronger security to all parties and stronger anonymity to customers,
-as well as being vastly cheaper to operate and more compatible with
-existing financial regulations.
+Finally, attempts to address the scalability hudles of Bitcoin using
+side-chains or schemes like BOLT introduces semi-centralized
+intermediaries, not wholey unlike Taler's use of exchanges.  
+We expect a Taler exchange operating in BTC to offer stronger security
+to all parties and stronger anonymity to customers, as well as being
+vastly cheaper to operate and more compatible with existing financial regulations.
 
 
 \section{Future work}
@@ -1388,10 +1388,9 @@ and usability.
 % CG: I'd say on the customer side, the signed contract is a receipt.
 % That should be intuitive.
 We expect that electronic wallets that automatically collect digitally
-signed receipts for transactions will become commonplace.  A key
-question for the future is thus whether this data collection will be
-done on behalf of the citizens and under their control, or on behalf
-of the Reich of big data corporations.
+signed receipts for transactions will become commonplace.  
+In this way, Taler gives the user full control over the usage of their
+transaction history, as opposed to giving control to big data corporations.
 
 We encourage readers to try our prototype for Taler
 at \url{https://demo.taler.net/}, and to ponder why the billion dollar
-- 
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